Day 18: Do Overs

It’s so easy to live a life of regret and remorse. There’s so much we don’t know when we start out. Of course, we don’t know we don’t know. And when the adults who love us try to give us a few tips, try to ease the path…well, speaking for myself, I couldn’t hear anything they had to say.

I’D RATHER DO IT MYSELF! And wisely, they let me.

So, here I am 40 years later. I don’t question that the choices I made were right for me. I certainly don’t spend any time wishing that I had someone else’s life…or mistakes. But I no longer tell myself that the life I had was the best. It was my best, but not THE best. And I willingly acknowledge that I missed some of the big, important chunks of life.

It’s true. I have. The one that I’m most conscious of is family. As my niece grew up and now my great niece is growing up at a distance from me, as I’ve watched my friends with their kids and grandkids, as I’ve listened to their wisdom, which only comes from the experience of loving, protecting, caring for a child, I have felt that I missed out . Being around kids and being around family is irreplaceable.

But life is forgiving. And today, playing with Seal and his cousins at Mami and Papi’s, talking with Miguel about what he would like to do with his life, goofing around with the girls—Marie Do, Ayesha, Ida, Janette and Nathalie--I saw that this time in Dakar is my “do over.” I get to be surrounded by family, to witness their love, feel their support, be a loving presence.

Do overs. I’m all for ‘em.